It was there the whole time…

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So it’s been a while since I’ve last blogged. 8 Months to be exact. I think I needed to get my head around the fact that I had entered a new season in my life and my blogging kind of fell by the wayside. Not my proudest moment but I am happy to say I am well and truly back doing what I love: tapping away at my keyboard and filling pages with my thoughts! I hope you enjoy and if you do, tell a friend…or 10!

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The main reason I hadn’t been blogging was because I kept ignoring reminders to renew my subscription and then before I knew it, my subscription for my domain name had run out.  And since I hadn’t renewed my subscription, I believed it would now be an even longer process getting it all set back up again. At one point, I even believed my blog space and my content was GONE permanently! How WRONG was I?

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You see, what I thought would be a long process took no longer than a few seconds. I believed that I would need to send a ton of emails to get this page set back up along with my content. The truth is, because I hadn’t taken time to actually READ what was contained in the emails regarding my subscription, I was unaware of the process. Because I believed it would be harder than it was, I held myself back from getting new material up. My blog was still available to me and for others to see, it was just under a slightly longer domain name! DUHH!

By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know him, the one who called us to himself by means of his marvellous and precious promises. These are the promises that enable you to share his divine nature and escape the world’s corruption caused by human desires.  

2 Peter 1:3-4 NLT

Everything we need, every answer to every situation, trial or test is written in this treasure chest of truth. But it’s only available to those who will actually read it with the hope of applying it to their lives. We can’t complain that the Word of God doesn’t work for us if we wont work it in our lives.

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It’s the same with my blog! If I had just read the emails instead of skipping through them because I thought I knew what they would say, I would have gotten things done a lot sooner.

In the same way, if we would just read what the Word has to say about our situations, then we will get things done. We won’t procrastinate because we have the answers and the direction we need to stop us wasting time. Could it be that the answer to your problem is hidden in the very lines of God’s Word but you are still skipping your own solutions?

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Get a move on with the things you know you ought to be doing because the truth is, EVERYTHING you need pertaining to life IS in here. Make that phone call, fill out those forms, pick up that book.  Don’t let something that only takes 1 minute, span over 8 months! Who knows what’s on the other side of your actions?

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Stay At Your Post…

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So, what started out as a text message I sent this morning, turned into a quick blog post I really needed to share. Notice I  used the word ‘QUICK’ so this will only take a moment… I hope!

So I had this real urge to encourage YOU ( Whoever you may be, hopefully I am NOT just talking to myself!) to STAY AT YOUR POST!! What does THAT mean? It means many things, but it all boils down to ONE answer: STAY DEEPLY ROOTED AND FIRMLY PLANTED TO THE FOUNDATION THAT IS JESUS!!!

 

I’m sure now I’ll see God’s goodness
    in the exuberant earth.
Stay with God!
    Take heart. Don’t quit.
I’ll say it again:
    Stay with God.- Psalm 27:13-14 MSG

I feel know that God is doing a tremendous work within the Body. He is stripping, moulding and shaping His bride ready for His return and I am super excited at the thought of being a part of God’s glorious call. But with that being said, I know that just as God IS doing a great work, the enemy is also doing his best to distract, deceive and disrupt the plans and purposes that God has for us.

Keep a cool head. Stay alert. The Devil is poised to pounce, and would like nothing better than to catch you napping. Keep your guard up…- 1 Peter 5:8 MSG

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I love that this verse tells us to keep our GUARD UP because its a reminder to me ALL OF US that we have some things  the enemy so desperately wants. He wants our minds, our hearts, our Faith, our future and whatever other promises that God has laid up for us. As I thought of this, I thought of 3 major ways the enemy distracts, decieves and disrupts us.

1. I am SIN-FREE and doing fine…I’m perfect…

Now I can put my hands up and say ‘GUILTY!’ Plenty of times, I  have found myself thinking ” I am so good, I am so holy. I am amazing, like i could just go to heaven NOW, I’M that good!” The sad thing is, as soon as thoughts like that begin to enter heads, we immidiately have a problem because the truth is, we have been so decieved by the enemy, we dont even realise it. We should NEVER allow ourselves to think more highly than we ought to because that opens the door to pride.

First pride, then the crash—
    the bigger the ego, the harder the fall- Proverbs 16:18 MSG

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When we think we are at a total place of “holy-ness”, it wont belong before we start falling back into old patterns and past habits. And why? Because we no longer rely on our source, Jesus, we are now reliant on our own strength. Thats dangerous. It’s a bit like the person that constantly tells you “Im so cool.” Just for the fact that they are telling you and they have to remind EVERYBODY, all the time, simply means they are NOT! Stay at your post!!!

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2.  What you allow in, WILL eventually come out…

Now this one I am working on. If you know me, then you how much I lurve music. But music is a mood regulator whether we like to admit it or not. It has the ability to bring up memories, heighten our mood or insight thoughts. And that is why we must keep in check WHAT we are allowing in when it comes to our music. Now I’m not going to sit hear and say I ONLY listen to Gospel music because thats just NOT true.  But I am still very select about what I allow on my iPod. So I yell a LOUD “NO” to songs like “Rather Die Young” (really Beyonce!) and a easy yes to “ROAR” by Katy Perry. The same goes for TV, books, magazines and even FRIENDS! Yes there are those on the inner circle and then you have those on the outer court…for various reason! So thats how i keep my guard up in regards to my heart. You may disagree, and thats totally okay, but I am just being honest.

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3. He is my daily bread… Literally!

I have resolved to seek God’s face daily as opposed to if and when I can be bothered simply because I LOVE Him, but more importantly, HE LOVES me! And i consider it a privilege to be able to converse and learn from Him.  It’s not out of religiosity either because religion hinders a person from real, intimate fellowship. Religion keeps a person from really experiencing the mind blowing love of God. But  fellowship with God daily, feeds us of the strength we need to survive and reach the full poential that God created ALL of us to reach. I love nothing more than to sit at the feet of Lord and feast on His Word. And I think it keeps me and every other believer in TOTAL check. If we go off course, the Bible will bring us back through its divine instruction. If we start to waver in faith, a simple word of encouragement through the Holy Spirit will lift us up. Or if we are broken and weak, the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ is able to rebuild, restore and repair what was once lost. So I NEED God daily to guide me through the paths of life and strengthen me so that I stand firm and strong at the post assighned to me.

Okay, so this post was supposed to be short but… Meh!

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P.S: NWM is on this week in THAMESMEAD, so if you are interested, then send an email to me at adenikenwm@gmail.com and hopefully I’ll see you this FRIDAY at 7:30pm! xxx

 

 

 

I DON’T LIKE OTHER FEMALES…

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“Dear Adenike”,

I was wondering if you could help me. I’m a female who has struggled to have close female friends most of her life. I’ve often found with females that they can be rather untrustworthy , don’t understand the value of friendship or just don’t demonstrate the loyalty expected. I’ve noticed that these preconceptions I have, have stopped me from building strong relationships with other females and it’s becoming a real problem. What do you think I can/should do about this? 

Mary, Welling

Hey Mary,

Let me start by saying; YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Many women have this problem as a result of past hurts, experiences and failures. So rather than go back to anything remotely similar to what they may have experienced in the past, they choose to safeguard themselves by staying well and truly away.

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In the media, women are depicted as nothing more than backstabbing, untrustworthy and unstable gossips! It’s no surprise more and more women shy away from the idea of building healthy and authentic friendships. But the truth is, you cannot tarnish ALL women with the same brush. Yes, you are going to come across some really nasty or negative females. Yes, you may have ALREADY been hurt, but that doesn’t mean other women will always hurt you. You have NEED to change your mindset to these things.

” Dont become so well adjusted to the culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out…” – Romans 12:2 MSG

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Mary, if you go into ANY relationship with a negative perspective, don’t be surprised when these things manifest themselves in your life. Allow the Word of God, that encourages you to walk in LOVE as opposed to fear, to have it’s way in your life and your friendships so that you begin to form new thought patterns when it comes to other women. 

You deserve good, wholesome and and fun friendships that will not only encourage you but inspire you. YES, I did just say INSPIRE you, because I really do believe a good friend encourages and inspires you to be more and do more. Good friends are NOT belittling and envious, they support you and uplift you. But you will only see this if you renew your mind to the Word of God and make yourself available to new friendships from women.

God wants you to let go off your past and embrace the possibility of great female friends in your future.  So Mary, its time to get rid of the negative images of the sisterhood that you may have (unintentionally) built up in your mind and press on to better friendships.

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In the meantime, here are a few practical ways to help you build healthier friendships with other females that I think may help you:

1. Reach out to another female whom you know may be going through a tough time right now. This could be the perfect time to send that encouraging text or even visit. You never know where a simple act of (intentional) kindness will take you (and your friendship!)

2.Take a risk…Hear me OUT!  I say this because that’s what MY best friend did with me.  I didn’t have a good track record when it came to friendship. I had a very BIG mouth so your secrets were safe with me for no more than 2 SECONDS! ( I am VERY sorry!) However, by the grace of God and ONLY by the grace of God, my story changed and I have learnt the importance of trust in a friendship! And, 11 years down the line, my best friend KNOWS she made the right call in taking a risk (Isn’t that right!) Take a risk my friend…

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3. …But don’t be silly! Go into a new friendship as you would ANY relationship: with your eyes WIDE open. If you see that your offer of friendship isn’t yielding the fruit you hoped for, then maybe its time to move on to new (healthier) pastures.

4. And finally...become the friend that YOU desire to have. If its loyalty that you want in a friend then start sowing seeds of loyalty TODAY! Make a commitment to remain loyal DESPITE what happens. Remember, like attracts like so if what you know you want loyal friends then start by becoming the friend you would like to have.

I hope these help you Mary, and I pray that you would start building, healthy, loyal and fun friendships in the future. 

Dont forget guys, if you or anyone else has a question for me OR you would like to join me for our next NWM meeting, then please email me at: Adenikenwm@gmail.com. We have a meeting on 13/09/13 in Thamesmead, SE28, so if you can, you should join us! 

Peace out dudes xxx

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Getting on a bit and still cant find a Man…

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So, its been a while since i last posted. But while i have been away from my blog, I HAVE taken the time to answer questions that have been emailed to me by some of you lovely readers. So with that being said, Welcome to my first reply!!! (CAn you tell I’m a tad bit excited!)

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“Dear Adenike”, 

“What age does it become “okay for someone to settle? Settle as in you would never have got with the person had it not been for the fact you’re “getting on a bit” or the person is someone you really wouldn’t have seen yourself with but because you’re worried about never finding the right person, you settle”…

Patricia, East London

I really like this question because if I’m honest, I think it’s (worryingly) relevant. I cannot tell you the amount of times I have spoken to a beautiful, well to do lady, who I think would make any guy proud, only for said woman to tell me she is SINGLE!

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Now don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with embracing singleness. But what happens when your age starts to creep up on you and no family event is complete without those dreaded words; ” Whats taking you so long ? ” What do you do? Well in my opinion, NOTHING. You do absolutely NOTHING. You don’t get desperate and start taking on any Tom, Dick or Ayo with a pulse simply because you are “getting on a bit.” It’s totally wrong and I really do believe its only going to set you up for heartbreak.

Some may not agree with me simply because I am not a single girl. I totally get that. But one thing I have seen is marriages go down the drain simply because the girl wouldn’t wait. The signs were there but that just wasn’t enough to stop this train wreck that was waiting to happen.  

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Marriages are for life pure and simple. It may not seem that way with all the poor examples we see splashed across the new-stands, but it is. So it would be a shame for you to get into one simply because you felt you had to because “someone” or society says the clocks “ticking”. If you trust God, then you trust His time as opposed to other people’s opinions because let’s face it, that’s probably the main reason most people settle. Don’t fall into that trap.

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“…I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for…” – Jeremiah 29:11 MSG

 

Don’t give your heart to somebody simply because you think time is ticking. God IS working on your situation right now to bring about something greater than you could have imagined. It’s not enough to only trust Him with other things like finding a parking space or even which job to go for, you need to start trusting Him with this too. Give it to Him and KNOW that He has your marriage concerns in hand. 

What to do now..

 1. Find a particular verse of scripture relating to this subject or one that will remind you to trust God especially when those critical voices and questions arise. Try putting it on a business card and carrying it around with you until you have sown into your heart through memorisation. You will be well prepared the next time any opposing voice tries to get you down concerning this.

 2. Pray for your husband! I know that sounds crazy, but remember, we live by faith and not by sight. You may not know him yet, but it doesn’t stop you from sowing seed into his life right now. And you can do that by giving him over to God in prayer and asking to God to strengthen him for the journey ahead.

 3. Invest in yourself. If you know you still struggle to keep your room tidy and just like Robbie Williams, you “wake up in the morning, every single afternoon “ then it’s time for a clutter clean out in your life! You might just not be ready to settle down, let alone get married!! God may want to mature something’s in you before He throws another person into the equation for your own good. Read books that will inspire you, listen to messages that will build you and get around people who will motivate. Make the conscious effort to GROW spiritually during this time.

 4. Learn to enjoy this period of life. When you are single, regardless of your age, there is no better time to enjoy yourself. Why? Because you have time to yourself without the stress and emotional attachment of being in a relationship. Travel, go out with friends, enjoy quiet moments with just you and God. Whatever you want, NOW is the best time to do these things!!!

Quick thing before I go: 

I’m having an NWM info night at the o2 this Thursday at 7.30pm. If you would like to come then send me an email to adenikenwm@gmail.com. And keep the questions coming in!

Peace out dudes xxx

 

What makes YOU beautiful…

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So last week, I held NWM at my house in Greenhithe! I am so grateful for all the lovely ladies who made it down because I know that my area is NOT the easiest place to get to. It was a great evening and I really can’t wait to do it again. Just in case you were wondering “WHAT THE HECK IS NWM?” Let me tell you! NWM is an all female bible study group that I lead in my house twice a month. I really wanted to do something that brought girls and women together to learn about God’s word, to build friendships and generally encourage one and other. I wanted it to spread beyond being JUST a bible study so I encourage meeting up outside of the bible study in a hope that real friendships are built and nurtured. I see NWM as a training ground…yes I really do mean that! I mean, we are learning the incredible principles that The Word has to offer that quite frankly, I believe you cannot get anywhere else. I really believe when we put God’s word into play, you open the door to a whole new identity that the enemy (satan, the devil, Beelzebub, whatever you wanna call him!) so desperately wants to keep you away from. That’s why this week’s topic at NWM was so important to me as it was something I myself have struggled with both in the past and even now… every now and then.Image

I’m sure I am not alone when I say I have really struggled with building a HEALTHY self-image of myself. I’m not alone when I say I have looked in the mirror and instantly wished I could change 3-300 different things about myself.  It shouldn’t come as a surprise when someone says they are feeling a little insecure, especially as a woman, in this society since we are surrounded by so many images of what the world perceives to be beautiful. The catwalks are filled with girls who look like they are in dire need of a good meal, while the woman deemed the most beautiful in the world is…Ill just leave it there!!!
But the thing is, it’s for reasons like this we find ourselves comparing ourselves to others. We hate our noses or dislike our feet. But the truth is, we have no right to say some of the things that we say about ourselves. When we speak negatively of ourselves, we are in actual fact speaking badly about God because what we are saying is: YOU DIDN’T DO A VERY GOOD JOB!! What we need to do, is rather than looking at the world’s definition of beauty, we need to look at GODS definition of us.

“Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out; you formed me in my mother’s womb. I thank you, High God—you’re breath taking! Body and soul, I am marvellously made!”- Psalm 139:13-15 MSG

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The Bible should be our mirror of truth. Anytime we are feeling a little out of line, lets go back to it and be reminded of the TRUTH.  We have been hand picked by God to run the race set out before us. That purpose alone gives us unfathomable value! We may not all be the worlds next top model who is forever cat walk ready, but that does NOT mean we are not beautiful. God sees each and everyone of us as His precious daughter. Lets remember that when we next want to complain about what particular features we have been given. 
We need to remember that we DO have an enemy and he DOES want to destroy us. So he will use ANYTHING to get us down weather it is comparing ourselves to an unrealistic image or filling our minds with thoughts of negativity that lead us to the sad conclusion that we are UGLY, WORTHLESS and PATHETIC!Image

I just thought it would be good to share with you some of the tips I shared with the girls at NWM last week. I hope you find them to be helpful as you continue on this journey called “LIFE.”

  • Wake up EVERYDAY and start speaking God’s Word to yourself in the mirror! Don’t be afraid to tell YOU, that YOU are marvellously made.
  • Write down 10 things that you LOVE about yourself! Yes I do mean 10! So many people unfortunately, struggle to come up with 3 let alone 10, but I feel if you can keep this as the screen saver on your phone, everyday you look at it, something on the inside of you will begin to change. Go on, do it, I dare you!
  • Get quiet before God and ASK HIM what He sees when He looks at you. Write down what you hear. Remember, God’s definition is always the truth.
  • Look for someone else that you know could do with a little encouragement and GIVE IT! It’s the little things that tend to make the most difference.

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Don’t forget, if you or anyone else you know would be interested in being a part of NWM, then send me an email to: adenikenwm@gmail.com. Our next meeting is Friday 28th June 2013 at 7pm. 

Speak WELL dudes xxx

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DO ME A FAVOUR AND SHUT UP…

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Let me start off by saying, “I HATE THE NEWS!” Now my mum is probably shaking her head at what I have just said and for that, I APOLOGISE MUMMY! But hear me out people! The reason I detest the news is because there never seems to be any “Good” news that is uplifting and encouraging. Every time I switch it on, there are new “cuts”, deadly viruses and epic disasters!!! It does my head in! There should be an option to pick what type of news we hear on a daily basis. We should get to pick between good, healthy, hopeful news and despairing, sorrowful and dismal news! It’s a long shot but hey, can you blame me?

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Society seems obsessed with bad news. We revel in it. And that’s not the life that God intended for ANY of us.  If we are constantly being engulfed with a barrage of BAD NEWS, how are we ever, as a society going to develop a culture of HOPE and EXPECTANCY when around every corner there seems to be a reporter telling us how “critical” and “severe” everything is?

What started off as news story I happened to watch unfold, spiralled into something that I THOUGHT was out of my control. The news had begun to plant seeds of fear in my mind and before I knew it, PANIC had set in.

“Be careful what you think, because your thoughts run your life.”- Proverbs 4:23 NCV

I wont go into what exactly it was that had gotten me all “jittery” because to be honest, I feel as though too much time and web space has already been given to the topic instead of a solution to the problem. So I will say no more on that other than the fact that in overcoming my fear that tried to rear its ugly head once again, I had to set my mind and keep it set that I wasn’t going to focus my attention on things that would not benefit me now or at any point in time. That didn’t mean I was going to stick my head in the sand and act as though the issues exist either. I simply decided FOCUS my attention on God rather than the latest “BREAKING NEWS” update on the thing that had turned me into a nervous wreck.

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“I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” – John 16:33 ESV

As we focus on Him, those fears will soon begin to fade until finally, they become nothing but a distant memory. And why because His love is assuring and ever lasting and so comforting to us that we KNOW he will never fail us or leave us in our to handle MORE than we can take. There is NOTHING that can overpower God so what could possibly happen to defeat US? When we focus on Him instead of the situations around us, we are ULTIMATELY saying, “ I trust YOU.” And I personally feel God rewards those who trust Him.

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“What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?”- Romans 8:31 NIV

I’ve made the conscious decision to turn away from the news because it does nothing but install fear in me. Call me ignorant if you like, I don’t care! If there was a window in your house that was left open and as a result, you KEPT getting broken into, would you keep leaving that window open? No! You would do something about it to ensure it never happened again.

I think its time some of us took inventory and realised some of the areas that seem to set us off into “panic mode” and then DO SOMETHING about it. FEAR is not natural and it is NOT right, so we shouldn’t settle for it because if we allow it to run riot, we will miss out on all the incredible things that God has in store for us. Listen, Jesus didn’t die for us to be hidden away in a dark room because we are too afraid to face the world! No, He died in hope that we would shine our lights in a dark world. Whatever it is that seems to set you off in terms of fear, FIND it and SNUFF it out. Don’t be a prisoner to fear a day longer!

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This post took a completely different turn and seems more serious than any of my other posts! I guess that’s just because this is a big ISSUE at the moment and I am sure I am not alone in my thoughts and feelings on this.

In a few time, I will post some personal tips of mine that I have put into practice when it comes to dealing with my fears. I hope they will be just as beneficial to you.

Prendre soin dudes xxx

PS: We have NWM happening on the Thursday 13th June. If you are local to the Kent area, then come along for a short evening where Ill be sharing the Word while you eat and meet other women who want to be the change in their world. Don’t forget to follow me on instagram @adenikenwm and the NWM account @NWMUK for more information! X

Email: Adenikenwm@gmail.com

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I WANNA BE RICH…

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I WANNA BE RICH...

Dont we ALL! But sometimes we can allow our WANT to get in the way of what’s REALLY important. I’m sure money can buy temporary happiness for some but will never sustain us in a way like friends, family and loved ones can. And it will certainly never replace the unconditional LOVE that only God can provide. If that was the case, there wouldn’t be so many wealthy people who on the inside, are very poor. They may have many possessions, but they lack the key ingredient, being L O V E, to fill that void within them.
When we allow money to become our sole purpose for living, NOTHING will ever be enough. We begin to live in a poor state of discontentment which often leads to unscrupulous behaviour. I’VE BEEN THERE PLENTY of times! And let me tell you, it AINT PRETTY! (More on that another time!)
Lets get to place where we understand the purpose of money and the value it DOES have but we are not so focused on it that we are willing to do just about anything to get it. Thats a dangerous place to be and only ends up biting you in the bum anyway! Have money, but DONT let it have YOU, is what I say!

Read AWAY Dudes xxx

P.S: Don’t forget to keep those questions coming! This week I want to answer your questions on RELATIONSHIPS! Get your questions over to adenikenwm@gmail.com! I cant wait to hear from you!

Read AWAY Dudes xxx

WASTED…

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I have had a problem. I am not afraid to admit it, because I am sure I am not alone in this. You see, I have a VERY short attention span. For instance, it’s a CHALLENGE to even sit through an entire film without either fast forwarding right to the end to see the outcome or just giving up entirely and falling asleep. I am the type of person that goes online to find the definition of a particular word only to end up reading about “The effects of involvement on response to argument quantity and quality”! 

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The issue with having such a short attention span is that it can lead to being distracted easily which then leads to being taken off course. As a result, we could end up not just on a website that has no relevance to our day but even further away from the dreams that we have on the inside of us. I’m sure I am not alone when I say I DO NOT want to wake up and wonder where did all the time go? Was I too busy trying to rush on to the next thing that caught my attention that I never really got to do the things I was SUPPOSED to do?  Did I spend enough time on the things that would have given my life a meaning and a purpose?

I’ve made up my mind to STOP dropping things when they get to hard or take too long ( I L O V E saying that, have you noticed??). Its too much of a dangerous place to be when we don’t allow ourselves to value the time we have the accomplish the great things that our lives have to offer and it’s a stagnant place that I no longer want to reside in.

“How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog–it’s here a little while, then it’s gone.”

James 4;14 NLT

 

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We need to be willing to do whatever it takes to get to the place God prepared us for ahead of time. We cant keep making excuses as to why we cant do what needs to be done in order to get to the desired destination. It’s not good enough to keep putting it off until “tomorrow.”  I for one know the difficulty, putting things off until tomorrow can cause. Just recently I occurred a fine for not paying something that I had put off until “tomorrow’. I kept telling myself I would sort that bill out later. Later became tomorrow and eventually, tomorrow just never came! Actually, it did, it just cost me £180 more than it did days earlier! The point I am trying to make is that we need to start valuing the time spent here because it’s not eternal. We each have a role and task at hand but yet so few of us achieve the things we were put on earth to do. I for one want to tick as many of MY boxes as possible so that by the end of it, I hear the words “well done, my good and faithful servant”. 

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Below are just a few things I have started doing in order to have more productive days instead of days “wasted…”

  1. Stewarding my time: Time is one of the few things in life we just cannot buy back, so we need to start adding value to it. To steward something simply means to “manage”. We can’t allow life to just “happen” anymore. Lets get hold of our diaries and calendars and start planning the days ahead. Remember Preparation time is NEVER wasted time.

  2. Opening my hand: One thing I have heard said so many times is that we are NEVER without the seed we need to start seeing our dreams and visions come to life. Remember, our generosity doesn’t start and end with our finances. We can be generous to others with our acts of service or even just our kind words. Who can you surprise today with your kindness?

  3. Thanks a million: Everyday we have a choice to either embrace life with an attitude of gratitude or accept a permanent invite to our very own pity party! I’m choosing to except that every situation is working together for my good even when I cant quite see it. I have a choice and so do you. Choose wisely.

  4. Cut it out: What’s that one thing you know you should do less of or cut out entirely? For me I made it a point of duty to cut down my social networking while I have cut out reading any form of celebrity gossip because it adds nothing to me. This may not be a big deal to some but is huge for me. What fits for you? Cut out those distractions NOW!

 I hope these help you. Don’t forget to comment below. And also, don’t forget to send me your questions on ANYTHING you want to Adenikenwm@gmail.com and the answers will be featured in my video blog coming soon! The best questions will receive a gift bag of goodies so get those questions in!

Keep it moving dudes! xxx

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I LOVE you to the moon and back…

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So this week, I have been out with not 1 BUT 4 of my favourite girlies this week. Each  “date” was unique in its own special way because of how diverse in character each one of my friends is.

Previously, I blogged about how I hadn’t in the past been the greatest friend because of my lack of commitment. This is something I firmly believe that God is working on in me and over the past couple of months, I have seen my friendships flourish beyond what I could have ever imagined and I truly mean that.

 Romans 12:10 Love one another with brotherly affection. Out do one another in showing honour.

Its easy for us to get really comfortable in our friendships and then without even realising it, we have drifted so far to the other side (wherever that is!) that we are no longer as close to those we once valued and appreciated. I know that I’ve been there before and I think its for this reason I am now intentionally going out of my way to show appreciation to those I closest to me.

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I am in no way trying to make out that I am perfect as I’m sure my nearest and dearest would tell you, but I do know that I am making more of an effort when it comes to my relationships.  And so I should. Because I think a lot of us tend to neglect our friendships because we forget, that just like everything else in life that is valuable, we need to take care to nurture it in order for it to never become stagnant but to keep growing consistently and healthily.

So in honour of one of my BFF’s birthday being today, (actually it was yesterday, but I didn’t get round to posting this in time!) I thought I would leave you a few tips that I think are effective to having (and maintaining!) a good friendship!

 1.Does my bum look BIG in this… well, YES!

 HONESTY really is the key! NO relationship can function without it or it ends up being false and false friendships WILL always falter, it’s just a matter of time!! We need to get to a place in our friendships where we can speak the truth in L O V E to our friends.  Be the type of friend that will tell your BFF that her bum DOES look huge in that outfit and that’s just not the sort of message she wants to portray. If she is a good friend, she will value it because she knows that your opinion comes from a good place.

 2. She said, SHE said, so WE said… 

We need to be able to speak LIFE into our friends. Our conversations need to be less about what the problem is and more about where the solution is. If the conversations you have with your friends leave you feeling negative, inferior and just down in the dumps, then maybe you need to do a friend check and SORT IT OUT! When I leave a social with my girlfriends, I come back feeling charged and ready to face the world because there’s been a “lifting up” during our time together. Start having more “glorious conversations” (as my lovely Pastor put it!). I am not saying to wear a mask and pretend like everything is okay though. (Go back to tip No.1!)  What I am saying is lets look for ways to encourage and admonish each other in our dreams, visions and goals. If you feel like jumping off a cliff every time you come from seeing a certain friend, maybe its time you considered jumping ship instead! JUST SAYIN’!

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 3. Food GLORIOUS Food…

Food makes EVERYTHING better including friendship! Don’t restrict going out with friends for dinner, to birthdays only. Make plans to meet, monthly or even weekly in order to strengthen your bond. Your girlfriend may not be your boyfriend or your husband but it doesn’t mean you cant go on “dates.”

4. Say you’ll be there…

Those that know me can tell you how great I am when it comes to picking up my phone…NOT! I have to be honest; I am not a “call me maybe” type of gal! I would much rather send my girlfriends random texts of encouragement or meet up every so often.  If something isn’t your forte, don’t force it, but make sure you do SOMETHING to show that you do care weather it be a heartfelt text message, skyping once a week or even arranging a sleep over with your girlfriend. I love my friends staying over because there’s no time restraint to our time together. Remember, sleep overs are not just for kids!

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 5. Eat, P R A Y, Love…

Praying with and for friends helps strengthen our friendships because it keeps it from being carnal and puts Christ at the centre where He belongs. This is one of the most valuable things you can do as a friend because not only will it keep you in good friendships but also it will keep you AWAY from the wrongs ones. If you have to, perhaps consider praying for some friends from a distance. (Go back to tip 3!)

 6. And Finally…

As much as you LOVE your friends, its always good to give each other S P A C E! Its not one we hear often but proverbs 25:17 has a point when it says:

“And when you find a friend, don’t outwear your welcome;
    show up at all hours and he’ll soon get fed up.”

 

F.Y.I, its not with your girlfriend that you “shall become one flesh” with!

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Right now, one of my BFF’s is being held hostage by the shackles of COURSEWORK. I don’t think she would appreciate it if I kept calling her all hours of the day or pestering her to come out to eat during this period. This time is crucial  to her final mark (1st class IJN!) so I choose to honour her by simply stepping back so she can FOCUS. I have another friend who  I meet up with maybe 4/5 times a year since we live on opposites sides of London and have families to look after. But when we do meet, its like we have seen each other every week because we are as close as ever. Time apart shouldn’t mean you drift apart!

 So these are just a few things I am doing to keep my friendships growing, hope they help YOU!

 

Flourish Dudes xxx

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WEIGHT-Less…

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So its official, I am may not be where I want to be JUST yet but I am nowhere near what I used to be! You see recently, I changed my mind. And in changing my mind, I changed a huge habit of mine for the better. I recently decided I am no longer going to focus on what I need to lose but on what I will GAIN if I begin to make healthy choices as opposed to the fast, cheap and easy foods I have become accustom to. Yes I did just say gain and no I am not joking.Image

With a healthier lifestyle, I will feel better, act better and overall look better because my body is getting the RIGHT things. After all, you wouldn’t put diesel fuel in a car that uses petrol would you? That would be silly and quite costly. However silly this sounds though, this is what I was doing on a daily basis. Okay so I wasn’t putting diesel in my body but I was over indulging when It came to my eating habits.  

 “Where there is no revelation, people cast off restraint; but blessed is the one who heed wisdom’s instruction.” – Proverbs 29:18 NIV

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 My biggest problem in my battle to lose weight was that I had no vision as to where I was going. That’s why I was so quick to try out the latest faddy diets that worked for about an hour before I was back on the fatty and processed foods again.  Lack of vision meant I lacked the restraint needed to keep me from the wrong foods. Now that I have a vision of my desired destination, I see things clearer and know that even if I do happen to eat something not so healthy, I no longer over indulge because I have a chosen destination. And what is my chosen destination? It’s to be a great example to my children.

I am by no means perfect. Far from it, in fact I still enjoy a good cake every now and then but it’s usually planned and is not followed by a session of over eating followed by the ever so familiar “ill try again tomorrow.”

 “”Tomorrow is the only day in the year that appeals to a lazy man.” – Jimmy Lyons

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 I don’t want to change my life for 30 days, 60 days or even 100 days. I want to change my life NOW so that I can reap the benefits FOREVER. What I do today will not only affect me but those I love and at the end of the day, I want to do all I can in my life to point my children and the ones to come after me in the right direction and that to me is CHRIST. This was another added factor to my “new” vision. By choosing to look at my body as a gift given to me by God that I am to take care of, I have gained a new found motivation to make these changes once and for all.. One body was battered, bruised and disfigured so that THIS body could look and feel great. I am no longer just craving that size 8, 26” waist (although that will be great!) I want the overall benefits of a healthy body. And that is LIFE. So I am choosing to take care of this body because only THEN will I see it become what not only I want it to become but what God has seen it can be.

The decisions `I make TODAY will ultimately affect what happens tomorrow so I am determined to make the right choices today so I can enjoy tomorrow.  Peace out dudes, I WILL see you next week. x

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