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I discovered something profound this weekend. I am not so perfect after all. Duhh!

For a while, I have seriously believed that I am the keeper and the saviour of my marriage when the truth is, I am not! Christ is. Christ did me and other Christians alike, a huge favour. He modelled to us the character and the traits we should emulate in order to enjoy marriages and friendships that produce good, healthy and wholesome fruit.

ImageHad I not have been listening to Andy Stanley this weekend, maybe I wouldn’t have noticed the painfully obvious; if I want something achieved in my home or at work, I must be willing to model it. That’s what Jesus did and continues to do. If I am this big Jesus follower, as I like to declare and publicise, then it starts by being a Jesus Follower and not just saying I am one. It begins and ends with a heart set on living out as Jesus advised us to.

“Here is a simple, rule-of-thumb guide for behavior: Ask yourself what you want people to do for you, then grab the initiative and do it for them. Add up God’s Law and Prophets and this is what you get. – Matthew 7:12 MSG

 It’s very easy for someone to confuse living as Christ as someone who religiously sticks to the rules, doesn’t sin, ticks all the right boxes, fasts 40 days and 40 nights and doesn’t drink, smoke or have sex…EVER! That’s not the message of Christ to the world. His message was demonstrated in his character. Though He was King, He served. Though he had it all and needed nothing, He gave the very best to a world that deserved nothing.


 Jesus is the perfect model for US. In marriage, friendship, and authority and in all things, He is a model and example for us. He modeled for us exactly what we are to do in order to live a purpose filled life. One that He died that we might receive.

I confess I can be a great big nag at times. I want things done and I want them done now. But I have to admit that the more I read about the importance of putting others first, I realize that this is something I have spoken more of than I have really practiced. Oops!

I cannot expect my husband to do what I am not willing to do and then nag him for not doing it! Isn’t that just hypocrisy? But that’s what so many of us do. We want to be served, but we will not first serve. We want to be loved but yet we refuse to love. We beg for forgiveness but harbor it as though it wasn’t given freely to us.


I don’t want to live like that anymore. I don’t want to be so focused on my own needs that I forget the needs of others especially my husband (you are a total babe by the way!). It’s a pretty simple way to live as well. There’s no hard method to follow, just do unto others, as you would like done on to you. What you feel you cannot do, God is so gracious and merciful that he has provided us with the grace to cover our areas of weakness. What we are not able to do just yet, love fully and give freely, forgive easily, His grace is sufficient enough to cover. All it requires is a heart willing and ready to go all in.



Just like Jesus, I need to MODEL what I desire. I need to be willing to model what He has called me to be to those in my sphere of contact and influence. And my life shouldn’t be about giving to get either. It should be about giving because He gave. Jesus put His need ahead of my own when he didn’t need to. So I want to do just that this week and every week. Who knows the fruit to come as a result of this change of mindset that I pray will affect my marriage and all other relationships for the better and Glory of God.