So, its been a while since i last posted. But while i have been away from my blog, I HAVE taken the time to answer questions that have been emailed to me by some of you lovely readers. So with that being said, Welcome to my first reply!!! (CAn you tell I’m a tad bit excited!)
“What age does it become “okay for someone to settle? Settle as in you would never have got with the person had it not been for the fact you’re “getting on a bit” or the person is someone you really wouldn’t have seen yourself with but because you’re worried about never finding the right person, you settle”…
Patricia, East London
I really like this question because if I’m honest, I think it’s (worryingly) relevant. I cannot tell you the amount of times I have spoken to a beautiful, well to do lady, who I think would make any guy proud, only for said woman to tell me she is SINGLE!
Now don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with embracing singleness. But what happens when your age starts to creep up on you and no family event is complete without those dreaded words; ” Whats taking you so long ? ” What do you do? Well in my opinion, NOTHING. You do absolutely NOTHING. You don’t get desperate and start taking on any Tom, Dick or Ayo with a pulse simply because you are “getting on a bit.” It’s totally wrong and I really do believe its only going to set you up for heartbreak.
Some may not agree with me simply because I am not a single girl. I totally get that. But one thing I have seen is marriages go down the drain simply because the girl wouldn’t wait. The signs were there but that just wasn’t enough to stop this train wreck that was waiting to happen.
Marriages are for life pure and simple. It may not seem that way with all the poor examples we see splashed across the new-stands, but it is. So it would be a shame for you to get into one simply because you felt you had to because “someone” or society says the clocks “ticking”. If you trust God, then you trust His time as opposed to other people’s opinions because let’s face it, that’s probably the main reason most people settle. Don’t fall into that trap.
“…I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for…” – Jeremiah 29:11 MSG
Don’t give your heart to somebody simply because you think time is ticking. God IS working on your situation right now to bring about something greater than you could have imagined. It’s not enough to only trust Him with other things like finding a parking space or even which job to go for, you need to start trusting Him with this too. Give it to Him and KNOW that He has your marriage concerns in hand.
What to do now..
1. Find a particular verse of scripture relating to this subject or one that will remind you to trust God especially when those critical voices and questions arise. Try putting it on a business card and carrying it around with you until you have sown into your heart through memorisation. You will be well prepared the next time any opposing voice tries to get you down concerning this.
2. Pray for your husband! I know that sounds crazy, but remember, we live by faith and not by sight. You may not know him yet, but it doesn’t stop you from sowing seed into his life right now. And you can do that by giving him over to God in prayer and asking to God to strengthen him for the journey ahead.
3. Invest in yourself. If you know you still struggle to keep your room tidy and just like Robbie Williams, you “wake up in the morning, every single afternoon “ then it’s time for a clutter clean out in your life! You might just not be ready to settle down, let alone get married!! God may want to mature something’s in you before He throws another person into the equation for your own good. Read books that will inspire you, listen to messages that will build you and get around people who will motivate. Make the conscious effort to GROW spiritually during this time.
4. Learn to enjoy this period of life. When you are single, regardless of your age, there is no better time to enjoy yourself. Why? Because you have time to yourself without the stress and emotional attachment of being in a relationship. Travel, go out with friends, enjoy quiet moments with just you and God. Whatever you want, NOW is the best time to do these things!!!
Quick thing before I go:
I’m having an NWM info night at the o2 this Thursday at 7.30pm. If you would like to come then send me an email to firstname.lastname@example.org. And keep the questions coming in!
Peace out dudes xxx